[HanCinema's Film Review] "Coming To You"

The difficulties LGBTQ+ people face, particularly in conservative societies, has been a topic that has started to be explored extensively during the recent years. In 2016, director Byun Gyu-ri - member of PINKS, a group that produces films for the culture and rights of sexual minorities - made a promotional video for the Queer Children's Parents Club, of which "Coming to You" was an outcome. What is different about this film, is that it focuses not only on Hang-yeol, who has experienced gender dysphoria since childhood and is now in the process of a sex-reassignment operation, or Ye-jun, who has recently come out as gay, but also on their mothers, Nabi and Vivian respectively.

"Coming to You" screened at the London Korean Film Festival

Advertisement

Nabi, 55, a veteran firefighter, prided herself for living a successful life, until one day, her child, Han-gyeol, announced that they wanted a mastectomy. A leader in her service, and a rather tough and old-fashioned woman, she struggled significantly with the reality of her child, and also with the fact that she had not realized their struggles before. Vivian (50), a flight attendant who prided herself on her openness about gender-related issues, was equally shocked when her son came out as a queer. What helped them both, however, was the Queer Children's Parents Club, and the interaction with other mothers in similar situations, which gradually led them towards truly understanding their children.

The documentary unfolds within these axes: The two LGBTQ individuals talk about their experiences since childhood and the consequences of coming out, especially to their mothers, and the way their relationship changed after that according to them, as much as how their relationship is now. The second axis revolves around the mothers and their "side of the story" as much as their interaction with the Club. As the story progresses, two new elements are added to the narrative, with Hang-yeol trying to get court permission for a legal sex-reassigment, thus highlighting the bureacratic difficulties of such an endeavor, and Ye-jun's relationship with his partner.

The comments deriving from all the aforementioned are as pointed as they are accurate. To begin with, Korean society is still highly conservative, a concept that is mirrored both in the initial attitudes of the two mothers, but also of the two fathers, who essentially shine through their absence, even if Vivian's husband does appear briefly. The laws about sex reassignment (18 different papers needed including parents' consent even if the applicant is over 18) and the looks Ye-jun gets when he is openly hanging out with his partner also move towards this same direction.

At the same time, though, the way the story unfolds is a rather optimistic one, with the way the relationships of the two mothers with their children improved over time, and their statuses now, when their support seems to be 100% towards them, promoting a solution that comes through acceptance and the help of the particular club.

The way Byun Gyu-ri connects all the aforementioned to present a concise story is ideal, with the editing emerging as one of the best traits of the movie, even if the opening up to other characters during the last part could have been avoided. Despite this small issue though, the fact that Byun has managed to gain full trust from his "subjects" with the camera following them quite closely, is more than evident in how openly they talk, essentially for everything. Through this "achievement" but also the picking of these particular four individuals, "Coming to You" emerges as an excellent documentary, which makes its comments in a way that is both easy to watch and highly informative.

Review by Panos Kotzathanasis